Grog, Grogus, Grogetter

Grogus has gotten honorable mention but not quite his own blog entry. He is certain to be my undoing. From the very beginning I knew he would be trouble. He started talking full sentences at a very early age (right before age 2) and has yet to come into his "I shouldn't say this" skills (I think he gets that from his dad). He more thinks of things in terms of "How much trouble will this cause me, because I'm about to do/say/experiment anyway?" He generally already knows the question to any answer he has (yep, I said that right)- as he's not one to stand on ceremony and actually wait for an answer to what he is wanting to know, he just already knows it all! Many Q&A sessions about permissions or other red tape issues often end with me telling him to cover his mouth and then say "Ok, mom" after I'm done. He never changes his mind, our conversations just have to move on and let be. Last year-he was 3- we were running errands in the car and he decided he was hungry and wanted me to stop at whatever drive thru came up first. I pulled into a parking lot to turn around (I often go the wrong direction when driving) and he thought I was going to get him some food. When I turned back out of the parking lot he bemoaned the fact that I was going the wrong way and demanded that I turn back. I simply told him that we weren't going there for food and he'd have to wait. After about 5 minutes of explaining where we were going and how he'd have to be patient and wait and that he would like what our plans were better than eating there he was still arguing so I had to tell him not to say another word because he was being unreasonable and was about to get into trouble. A few minutes of silence followed and I breathed a sigh of relief that it had passed fairly painlessly when from the back seat I heard him mutter "wong way mom" to anyone who would have mercy and turn the car back to the parking lot! With that the conversation ended, but I still never know if I won or not. I realize parenting takes a lot of knowing which battles to fight and which hills to die on but sometimes I get the feeling that he is the victor- even when I think I am! He has these ultra long eyelashes paired with baby blue eyes that are to die for- which much to my chagrin, have talked him out of lots of trouble and just as thankfully have contributed much to the patience fund. Unlike his one brother whose mind I read in his face (Buster) or the other brother who asks permission and generally is satisfied with the status quo life he leads (Bubbadootz), this kid gives me no warning or chance to 86 the plans he seems to concoct while distracting me with his knock-knock joke of the day. I am never sure quite what is going to come out of his mouth and I'm always afraid when I realize he's learned new vocabulary. On occasion he will decide he doesn't like someone and will draw up a plan to let them know. It has often been the unsuspecting sweet old ladies at Target who have the misfortune of admiring his "bright, innocent eyes" and asking him if he's "being a nice boy today" who catch the brunt of his inner imp. After one such unsuspecting lady stopped to admire him and coo over how sweet he was she smiled her nicest old lady smile and turned away, only in time for him to let out "Buh Bye gwinch!" Who let him watch the Grinch anyway? He was only 3! I still wonder if she heard him. He has been playing practical jokes on us before he could talk and loves a good laugh. Just after he turned one 2 he pulled one over on me- I reallly knew I was in trouble then. He hadn't quite mastered talking then and I was stooped over trying to tie his shoes. I would reach for his shoe and he would take a step backward. So I would step forward in my stoop and try again, and he would accomodate me by taking another step backward. Tying kid shoes is one of my most trying tasks and I tried to remain patient while I moved forward to have another go at the laces, all the while vowing to wring the neck of whomever thought toddlers needed laces on their shoes. After a few steps of the shoe lace dance I happened to glance up to his face to see him smiling at me (laughing on the inside really). My affectionate term for him is "little brat" (totally suits him), so I said, "You little brat!" and backed him up into a corner where he couldn't step backward. At his first attempt at stepping back he realized he'd been had and laughed and laughed at having the joke called on him! He couldn't even talk yet! For all of his mischief he can be very sweet. He loves to give me "tiny, tinys" which are soft, rapid-fire kisses on my cheek. He always needs a hug and an explaination before he'll let me go run an errand without him and is quick to apologize for his exploits- usually before I require him to make amends. He is sad when I am sad and feels sorry for me when I "have a headache in mine head", as he says it (as opposed to the headache that can be in the stomach or the mouth, for instance). He adores his baby sister and watches her like a hawk, frequently coming to her aid or rescue and often swiping stuff out of her mouth for fear she might choke. She often decides he's the person for the day, even when she has already chosen someone else. When Pink was newborn he was obsessed with making sure that she got to taste the good stuff too. I put my foot down about him putting things in her mouth so instead he would follow me and insist that I eat this thing or that thing. He insisted I eat "pantakes" one day and pestered me so much about it until I got down and asked him why he wanted me to eat them (my kids all know that I hate being sticky so much now after so many kids that it takes a lot for me to dive into pancakes!). He solemnly explained that he wanted Pink to get to try them too. Of course I ate them. The next morning as she was nursing he asked her if she liked them! He gives us a run for our money- and is certain to be the one that drags us in and out of ERs. He learned to ride his bike (this photo is from that day) on a Monday and by Wednesday he was pulling the "Watch this mom" routine which included him standing up on the cross bar while in motion! Yikes! He can't stand being "little" and must do everything that Hayden is doing- except things he's supposed to be doing. I have to get around the "you're too little" remark which makes him shut down completely and instead I tell him he's too short- apparently it's ok since he knows he can grow. He has a favorite pair of blue jeans and heaven forbid that those jeans be in the wash when he gets up to dress. He had some cowboy boots which went everywhere (boots go particularly well with a swim suit) but sadly he outgrew those- he was ok with that though since he knew it meant he was getting bigger! Grogus goes 100 miles an hour but then when he's done he just stops. In the nursery they would often apologize to me for finding him on the floor with a blanket over him- they didn't want to disturb his nap (in the middle of 10 toddlers, 3 or so of them crying and the rest crawling on him). We do the same thing at home too. I just wait til his battery runs out and then I just cover him up. Generally he gets a good nap where ever he falls asleep, having inherited and honed his dad's talent for sleeping anywhere in any position under any circumstances! He's all boy and out to prove it to the world- watch out! Oh, and keep your hearts safely locked away, he's a charmer!